Protecting Your Peace From Toxic People
"Toxic" was probably 2019's most used buzzword. I'm not even sure where it started, but it was like overnight everyone started labeling everything and everyone as toxic. It has gotten a little out of control. However, there are definitely toxic people out there, and that's what I wanted to talk about in this post.
A friend who always has something negative to say or makes you feel like your opinions and feelings are not important may be toxic for you. A significant other who continuously hurts you or doesn't take accountability for their actions in regards to the relationship may be toxic for you. Family members who don't support you or always seem to be standing in the way of you doing better or progressing in life may be toxic for you. And lastly, one of the most overlooked, someone you follow on social media who constantly perpetuates negativity or brings some sort of drama into your space can definitely be toxic for you.
Sometimes cutting out the toxin is an easy fix. Like in the case of a social media bummer, I am quick to unfollow and mute someone if I feel like the things they are posting or our interactions are nothing but negative. It's important to remember that you are the curator of who and what you interact with on social media, to a certain extent. If you're getting some negative energy from someone or you're uncomfortable, take those steps to remove that person from your space. I say all the time that I'm constantly unfollowing and muting people on social media, and that it's not necessarily anything personal- I just don't feel like seeing what they have to say. I don't have to subject myself to anything that makes me feel uneasy or offends me, and neither do any of you.
When it comes to relationships- familial, romantic, or platonic, separating yourself from something or someone toxic can be a bit more challenging. Personally, I've always struggled a little with this because I don't want to risk upsetting someone or losing an important bond. However, sometimes it's necessary in order to protect my peace and preserve my mental health in a way. I think it's important to remember that you aren't obligated to put up with anything or anyone that you feel like brings you down or puts you in a position where you feel like you just have to tolerate being mistreated or feeling invalidated. The first step is really just communicating that you don't like the way things are going, whether there is a specific incident or just a general issue with the way the person is treating you or making you feel. If they are receptive to what you have to say and seem genuinely willing to work to change things, I think it may be worth giving them a shot at reconciling if you feel comfortable doing so. On the other hand if they are dismissive or if this isn't the first time you've voiced these feelings and concerns to no avail, distancing yourself may be the way to go.
I'm not licensed in conflict resolution, therapy, or anything of the sorts so I don't want to go too deep into it for fear of giving some bad advice, but the bottom line is that you shouldn't have to deal with people or things that are bad for you mentally and emotionally.
Just work on curating your bubble. Limit time on social media if you need to, and take that step to remove things from your line of sight when they cross that line of what you're willing to put up with. Cut down your availability to people you know stress you out or make you feel small- it's ok to not reply to texts or return calls, and it's ok to cancel plans when you need to. Voice your feelings in whatever way you feel comfortable with because you are 100% valid in whatever you are feeling, regardless of whether or not anyone else sees it that way. Take yourself out of the line of fire- take time for yourself to be away from all of the commotion and remove yourself from situations that no longer serve you in a positive or productive way.
By definition, toxic means poisonous, which is pretty self explanatory.When in comes to toxic people in your life, though, it can be a bit more difficult to pinpoint who is on the list. Friends, family, significant others, and social media mutuals can all represent toxicity in some form or another. I'm not saying that everyone you meet is bad for you, but I am saying that it is important to be vigilant of how the people in your life interact with you and make you feel.
A friend who always has something negative to say or makes you feel like your opinions and feelings are not important may be toxic for you. A significant other who continuously hurts you or doesn't take accountability for their actions in regards to the relationship may be toxic for you. Family members who don't support you or always seem to be standing in the way of you doing better or progressing in life may be toxic for you. And lastly, one of the most overlooked, someone you follow on social media who constantly perpetuates negativity or brings some sort of drama into your space can definitely be toxic for you.
Sometimes cutting out the toxin is an easy fix. Like in the case of a social media bummer, I am quick to unfollow and mute someone if I feel like the things they are posting or our interactions are nothing but negative. It's important to remember that you are the curator of who and what you interact with on social media, to a certain extent. If you're getting some negative energy from someone or you're uncomfortable, take those steps to remove that person from your space. I say all the time that I'm constantly unfollowing and muting people on social media, and that it's not necessarily anything personal- I just don't feel like seeing what they have to say. I don't have to subject myself to anything that makes me feel uneasy or offends me, and neither do any of you.
When it comes to relationships- familial, romantic, or platonic, separating yourself from something or someone toxic can be a bit more challenging. Personally, I've always struggled a little with this because I don't want to risk upsetting someone or losing an important bond. However, sometimes it's necessary in order to protect my peace and preserve my mental health in a way. I think it's important to remember that you aren't obligated to put up with anything or anyone that you feel like brings you down or puts you in a position where you feel like you just have to tolerate being mistreated or feeling invalidated. The first step is really just communicating that you don't like the way things are going, whether there is a specific incident or just a general issue with the way the person is treating you or making you feel. If they are receptive to what you have to say and seem genuinely willing to work to change things, I think it may be worth giving them a shot at reconciling if you feel comfortable doing so. On the other hand if they are dismissive or if this isn't the first time you've voiced these feelings and concerns to no avail, distancing yourself may be the way to go.
I'm not licensed in conflict resolution, therapy, or anything of the sorts so I don't want to go too deep into it for fear of giving some bad advice, but the bottom line is that you shouldn't have to deal with people or things that are bad for you mentally and emotionally.
Just work on curating your bubble. Limit time on social media if you need to, and take that step to remove things from your line of sight when they cross that line of what you're willing to put up with. Cut down your availability to people you know stress you out or make you feel small- it's ok to not reply to texts or return calls, and it's ok to cancel plans when you need to. Voice your feelings in whatever way you feel comfortable with because you are 100% valid in whatever you are feeling, regardless of whether or not anyone else sees it that way. Take yourself out of the line of fire- take time for yourself to be away from all of the commotion and remove yourself from situations that no longer serve you in a positive or productive way.
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