Feeling Real

Before I get into this post that just randomly came to me when I was supposed to be reading for class, I just want to talk about a few housekeeping things. For starters, I'm gearing up to resume posting at least once a week again. Right now, it's looking like I'll be posting every Saturday once I get back on it. This is super exciting because that means all of the topics I think of throughout the day and type in my notes so I won't forget them will finally see the light of day. Additionally, I want to be able to cover a wide variety of topics for you guys, which means you can expect some cool different content from me in the near future. Hooray.

And now it's time to get into what we're all here for.

I wanted to talk about positivity and emotions I guess. It used to be that when I thought of the concept of positivity, I thought about someone who was 100% happy and positive 100% of the time, and I tried extremely hard to mold myself to emulate that. Part of that was because I was really into the whole good vibes movement that hit in like 2014. I cringe every time I read my old tweets, but that is besides the point. The mistake I made in doing that is that I denied myself the opportunity to truly feel all of my emotions, as well as the opportunity to learn how to really regulate and sit with my emotions. I didn't quite understand the importance of embracing my full spectrum of emotions, and as a result, I was brushing a lot of things off and suppressing feelings to make sure I could keep up my veil of positivity.  I wasn't addressing my negative or less pleasant emotions and turning them into something positive and productive. I was more or less putting a smiley face sticker over them and just skipping past that part.

It took a lot of introspection and rough patches for me to be honest with myself about the fact that pretending to be positive and happy all of the time won't miraculously make that my reality. It didn't feel real. It wasn't real.

 It took a lot for me to realize that every single emotion, whether good or bad, is healthy and can be spun into a positive experience where I'm growing to understand myself and my feelings. Now when I think of positive that's what I think of. I think of accepting that I'm going to have bad days or that I'm going to get pissed off sometimes, but there is positivity in that. There is positivity in accepting how I feel at face value and sitting with those feelings. It's positive because it's empowering to understand how I feel and keep it moving. I know now that it's ok for me to complain about things that are getting on my nerves and I don't always have to smile just because it's the pleasant thing to do. I acknowledge that I'm human and I'm not always going to be in a good mood, and I accept that my bad moods don't make me inherently negative.

You are allowed to be sad, mad, whatever it is that you feel. Let yourself feel it all and work your way through it.

So, my little piece of unsolicited advice for the week is that you do not have to force manufactured positivity on yourself. You don't have to hide how you're feeling or pretend that you're in a good mood. Sit with your emotions and do what works for you. Handle how you really feel in whatever ways really work for you.