For Our Lives


photo by @SBthecreator_ from protest in Winston-Salem, NC (May 31,2020)


George Floyd was murdered by Derek Chauvin, a white Minneapolis police officer, on May 25, 2020 in broad daylight. Derek Chauvin used all of his body weight to kneel on George Floyd's neck and back for 8 minutes and 46 seconds- pinning him down on the street and crushing his windpipe and spine. Three other officers stood around as Derek Chauvin was killing George Floyd, as a bystander begged them to intervene, and as George Floyd begged him to stop and cried out for his mother. George Floyd knew he was dying. Derek Chauvin knew that George Floyd was dying. I watched George Floyd die on video.

Breonna Taylor was murdered on March 13, 2020 in her own home in Louisville, KY by plain clothes cops who claim they "had the wrong house" after the fact. Breonna Taylor was asleep in her bed when they barged into her home. Her and her boyfriend got out of bed to see what the noise was, and she was shot dead. She wasn't shot once, though. She was shot 8 times- in her own home, in the middle of the night, for no reason.

There are so many more stories like this- stories where Black people are murdered by police officers for no reason, stories where the murderers aren't held accountable, stories where we are left wondering how long it will be before it happens again.

And for those very reasons, for these very stories where Black people have lost their lives at the hands of the corrupt police in our country, we are fighting for our lives.

 
Over the past week, protests have broken out in cities all around the country. These protests have been calling for justice for George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and every other Black person murdered by the police. These protests have been calling for the police, the government, and the world to respect and value Black lives. These protests have been screaming Black Lives Matter at the top of their lungs. In many of the cities where protests have been held, police have met protestors with violence and brutality in efforts to silence and intimidate; proving our point to be true- police have declared war on Black lives. From what I have seen, protests have gotten the most volatile in Minneapolis (where George Floyd was murdered), Los Angeles, NYC, and Louisville (where Breonna Taylor was murdered; also where police shot and killed David McAtee this past Sunday during a protest), and here in North Carolina. Police have been tear gassing peaceful protestors, shooting them in the face with rubber bullets (which are actually metal, coated in rubber and can cause fatal injuries), destroying medic stations, driving their vehicles into crowds of protestors, and wrongfully detaining people. The list goes on, but the news won't show you that. The news won't tell you that the police forces around the country have been inciting violence, turning peaceful protests into riots, and then brutalizing and murdering people who are fighting back against that very action. 
The news won't tell you any of that. Donald Trump won't tell you any of that. The police won't tell you any of that. So, I will. 

my photo from downtown Fayetteville, NC on Saturday night.

 
While I wish I had accounts of people's experiences from every protest and uprising across the country, I have very limited knowledge of detailed accounts. I have been keeping up with the vast majority of protests through Twitter. Twitter has turned into a network for Black people and supporters of #BlackLivesMatter to keep in touch with each other, to spread vital information and resources for each other and protestors, and to accurately document what is going on at these protests because we can't count on anyone else to do it.I want to use this post to share the experiences of protestors here in North Carolina, as these are direct accounts from my friends, locals, and myself. While not all of the protests in North Carolina took a violent turn, the vast majority of them did as a result of police actions. It is important that I make note of that. 
No one's identity, other than my own, will be disclosed in this post. I don't want to put anyone in danger, as cops here in North Carolina have been on a roll arresting and brutalizing people involved in protests. For that reason, I will only be using what city they protested in when I include their accounts. Additionally, any photos or videos I use will not include any faces or identifiable characteristics unless I have been given explicit consent otherwise, and am confident that using them will not put the people included in danger. Also, I apologize in advance if any of the videos aren't the clearest quality. Feel free to ask me for links to them if you want to see them in better quality.



Raleigh- May 30, 2020

I want to start with Raleigh because watching the way the Raleigh police department turned that protest into an unsafe environment and put everyone's lives at risk was infuriating. I was texting and calling my friends in Raleigh nonstop just trying to make sure they made it out and made it home safe. I will let one friend's account put Raleigh's protest into words. They also gave me permission to share the photos below. 

"So, the protest started at 5pm but I didn’t get there until around 8pm. They were already tear gassing people by the time I got there and luckily we saw people on the way who told us different streets to go down to avoid the gas. We kept walking a few blocks and finally found the big group of protestors peacefully walking down Salisbury street, signs in hand chanting, “Black Lives Matter”, “No Justice, No Peace”, and of course, “Fuck 12.". There were black bikers riding behind us protecting us from the cars that were trying to get us to move. We were finally met with a police car and a member of the Proud Boys (a white supremacy group in Raleigh) was standing in front of the police car yelling at all the protestors. I wasn’t close enough to hear what he was yelling but it was obviously some foul shit. People started getting pissed and they were throwing empty water bottles and empty gallon milk jugs at the cop car and someone threw a firecracker. After that, a fuck ton of police in RIOT gear who were HIDING under a parking deck start charging out in front of the cop car and of course, the white supremacist. They threw tear gas into the crowd and everybody started running. As we were running the cops starting shooting at us, rubber bullets I assume but I’m not sure, and they were advancing towards us while shooting. I got out of there safe with no harm but hella people were gassed. I left after that.My sister stayed home during the protest because she is vulnerable to COVID and she was also our lifeline who would stay up and make sure we were bailed out of jail if it came down to it. She was also monitoring the news. She told me that an activist who poured red paint on Silent Sam in Chapel Hill a few years ago has a twitter account and she was listening to the police scanners. Apparently the police were asking if they were allowed to use tear gas without knowing how old it was. And they were given permission. EXPIRED TEAR GAS IS LETHAL AND THAT IS WHAT THEY COULD HAVE BEEN THROWING AT PROTESTORS. It was scary but liberating and I will 110% keep protesting and rioting if need be"






Greensboro- May 30-31, 2020

Greensboro protested for multiple nights and each night, it started out peacefully, but of course it took a turn once the police got involved. For a little bit of context for those who may not be familiar, Greensboro is the home of the Woolworths where the Greensboro Four demonstrated the sit-ins for our civil rights. Someone reached out to share what they encountered in Greensboro on Saturday and Sunday night.

"Sadly I didn’t take any pictures, but I’m happy to talk about some of what I got to see happen. It’s absolutely true that the police are the ones instigating violence; everything was completely peaceful during the protests during the day. Really, it was more than peaceful, especially on Sunday, considering what happened the previous night. Some people came through Saturday night (I don’t know if it was white supremacists or police, like it’s been rumored to be, but it certainly wouldn’t surprise me) and smashed up the windows at the Civil Rights Museum/Woolworth’s on Elm Street. On Sunday, in the aftereffect of that, most of the group of protestors I was with took time to sit and listen to speakers talk outside of the Museum. Instead of just being peaceful, there was the sense of intense reverence, at least for me, to sit in the same spot, fighting for the same rights that the Greensboro Four sat and fought for 60 years ago. Later that night, though, it started to get scary; right around the same time cops started showing up en masse, in full riot gear, a lot of people started talking about truckloads of white supremacists driving around, and now several of them were armed and staying in hotels near downtown. I left not too long after that, and when I got home i turned on the local news and it was just really disgusting—they had a newscaster on standing behind the police line talking about all of the destruction the protesters have caused, making comments about how the protestors who refused to disperse were all just thugs who were breaking the law, and a bunch of other super toxic rhetoric."  

Cops in Greensboro having been taking advantage of the citywide curfew, for sure. A video was shared with me that shows two officers trying to forcefully pull a young Black man out of his car after pulling him over without giving him a reason. In the video, you can also see another cop clearly pointing a gun at the people in the backseat of the car as the young woman recording asks her to stop because she feels threatened. Again, none of the actions taken by these officers were necessary. 

tiktok video shared with me from Tuesday night in Greensboro



Asheville- May 31, 2020

I was honestly surprised to see how the protests panned out in Asheville because of how small of a town it is, but the police there were disgusting. They destroyed the supplies that had been collected for protestors at the medic station that had been set up. Not only was the medic station approved by the city, but it is a literal crime to destroy medic stations and harass medical personnel. The police officers in Asheville did both of those things for no reason, in the midst of a peaceful protest. Below are videos of them in full riot gear pouring out all of the water bottles that had been provided for protestors.


videos of Asheville PD destroying water and supplies at medic station, shared with me on twitter

Someone also shared their experience protesting in Asheville with me:

"We took off after the gassing and were followed by police. My coworker and I decided it was best if we left for safety but my students made the decision to stay. Later in the night someone drove through a barricade towards protestors and fired off a gun three or four times. I’m still trying to figure out if they’ve identified that person. Several mixed reports surrounding that"



Charlotte- June 2, 2020

Things started out peacefully in Charlotte each day of protesting, but quickly took a dangerous turn the moment it got dark out. It was like the second the sun went down, Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department got the green light to attack protestors and put their lives in danger. Things got particularly volatile on Tuesday night. I saw so many live streams from friends saying they were trapped on one street while being tear gassed and maced. Let it be known that Charlotte had no curfew as of Tuesday night, so the excuse of "they were just enforcing curfew" holds absolutely no weight. Even if they did have a curfew, the way CMPD behaved in response to a peaceful protest was absolutely disgusting I want to share multiple accounts from individuals who protested in Charlotte on Tuesday:

"So my experience protesting was really dope actually. It felt so real and alive to be out there with the hundreds and thousands of people. I saw so many signs saying different things- what really shocked me is when I was in the front and basically everyone was following me, I felt like I was really leading the people. It was so many people of different races, Black white, Mexican. Everyone that was there was there to help Black people get justice in America. Every time a cop car rode past everyone screamed "fuck 12." As we kept walking, more officers came out. For the part I was out there, it was pretty peaceful, but my cousin went a little later and the police turned at night time. They literally trapped the people and fled them with tear gas. It was awful. Police are supposed to be there to protect us and they are now taking us out because their head master (that President) is in office and it’s just not right."

"We started out protesting at about 4:45, and it was peaceful. Everyone was marching and hand their signs. At around 6, the organizers of the protest said they were done and that we were welcomed to go home or stay, and then left. A lot of us stayed and continued protesting. We protested the rest of the afternoon which was completely fine because everyone that was out there was peaceful. Women and younger children had begun to leave as it got later into the night, but kids my age stayed. I was surrounded by my classmates, my coworkers, and like-minded individuals who believe in human rights. At this point we're still holding up our signs and protesting. Cops had been riding on their bikes, keeping a block or 3 ahead of us and making sure they were leading like the crowd in the right direction- I guess whatever the right direction was to them. We didn't know why that was, but now we know that it was so they could get us bombarded so they could attack us. We were led down a street where, we were at the front of the group holding up our signs, and we saw police in riot gear to the left and right of us blocking off the entrances to the parking garage on that particular street. That was alarming because to date, we hadn't seen any cops in any type of riot gear except for the ones that were blocking exits, you know, if they didn't want you to go that way then don't go that way. That was fine because there's always been another way to go. For the first time, on both sides of the street, there was cops in riot gear. At every entrance, there was cops in riot gear, and that's when both sides began to throw tear gas and rubber bullets were shot from the roofs. Me, my niece, and two of my classmates- as soon as we saw the tear gas coming from one end, we tried to run to the other end. We were met with tear gas at the other end. So we all corralled into the middle and kind of just got down, and we were down and the tear gas just started to seep in closer and closer. I started to hear the rubber bullets and I was like "we have to go!" This girl I didn't know said "where the fuck are we gonna go?" and I said "I don't know, but we can't stay here! We're like sheep waiting for the slaughter." So, a big group of us, 15 or 20 of us, just ran along the side of the building out around the cops and just ran. I don't know what happened to the people that I was running with. I couldn't see. I couldn't breathe. At that point I had ripped off my mask because I couldn't breathe and there was tear gas kind of submerged all in the fabric. I remember just wondering where the people I came with were and hoping that they were around the same way, and then we all kind of found each other and tried to stay with each other as we ran."



Fayetteville- May 30, 2020; June 1, 2020


"I felt anxiety walking up until I saw the crowd. It was a Fayetteville crowd, but it was MY crowd. Seeing all of the children there put me at ease too. Everyone was a little bit ahead of me, but I was able to walk with the march with the crowd for a little while. When we got to the Market House, we were all gathered together- playing music and chanting. In that moment, I felt like I was at one with the crowd. Everyone was there in that moment and this feeling of pride and security rushed in- like more people cared about my wellbeing than I thought. Coming to and seeing that reality was great. I was out there for a while. I had the chance to meet J. Cole while he was out there fighting with us, I even reconnected with someone from my childhood, from church and we had a deep conversation sharing our feelings about everything going on. He has always been really quiet, so to hear him vocalize his feelings with understanding and accountability was extremely enlightening. We both just had the feeling that we needed to be there, and I knew the universe meant for me to be there and witness it all, no doubt about it. The guy who organized the protest started speaking and literally everyone there was tuned into his every word- not a chant, not a cough- just all of us present in that moment taking in what he had to say. Up until recently, I always believed that Black lives mattered, but I never KNEW that Black lives mattered. Like I feel that with my whole chest now. My mom and I never really talked about Black history, or maybe I just missed the conversations,  but I had to learn a lot on my own and I am beyond activated now. I've researched and read a lot of things over the years, but the things I've learned about myself and my people over the past week have given me the ability to see the world in totality- good and bad. And don't get me wrong, I'm beyond mad. Watching the video of George Floyd's murder hurt me to the core."

 
I am from Fayetteville, and found out a few days ago that George Floyd was born here. I have both experienced firsthand, as well as been told, quite a bit in the past few days regarding protests in my city. Saturday during the day, protestors gathered on Skibo Road to march peacefully in Honor of George Floyd. The mayor, Mitch Colvin, even marched. This was a completely peaceful protest, yet the police department alerted all of the businesses on Skibo of a riot scare, and they all subsequently shut down. I felt like this was completely unnecessary because there was no riot, nor was there even talk of one. Later that afternoon, protestors moved to downtown and that is when I joined. Everyone was gathered down at the Market House, a known historical building where slaves were often sold. People were chanting: "Black Lives Matter," "No Justice, No Peace, No Racist Ass Police," and "I can't breathe;" the last of which being some of George Floyd's final words. It was loud and there were a lot of people, but it was not violent. A protestor did set the Market House on fire and it was spray painted with phrases like "Fuck Trump," "BLM," and "Fuck 12." (all things that I support 100% because what kind of shit is letting a racist monument stand in the center of the city?) There were also quite a few walls on the side of businesses that were spray painted with pained messages for George Floyd and Black lives (pictured below).
However, once it got dark, the police showed up and things started escalating. By that point I had left because I am immunocompromised and have been trying to get out and protest in small bursts instead of long ones to decrease my risk of COVID exposure (because of course we are still in the middle of a pandemic while the police are still waging war on Black people). Anyway, the police showed up and began to force people out of the downtown area. By that time, people had started busting windows to businesses and getting agitated because the police had shown up and begun arresting people and being unnecessarily forceful. The protest had not gotten completely out of hand, and police could have dealt with it a lot better, or not at all.
Later that night, the looting ensued. I'm going to come right out and say that I am not upset about any looting, "riots," or vandalism that occured. As I'm sure you've all seen quoted in recent days, Dr. Martin Luther King said "riots are the voice of the unheard," and that is exactly how my city (and the entire Black community) felt that night and still feels now. The JCPenney in our mall was looted, as well as the Walmart across the street (and various Walmarts throughout the city), the Target, and some other businesses like liquor stores and whatnot. What's crazy to me is that I saw so many people outraged and speaking out against the looting, but none of those people spoke up for or stood in solidarity with the Black community as we took on the fight of pushing for justice for George Floyd and putting an end to the corrupt system that is our police. People cared more about stores and merchandise than they ever have about the endless list of Black people who have been murdered by police in our country, and that was very telling. 
After Saturday night, the mayor placed us on a city-wide curfew that went from 8pm to 6am. Sunday night seemed to be a calm night in the city with a heavy police presence and a lot of businesses closed, and then protests resumed Monday afternoon. The plan was for Monday's protest to be peaceful, as protestors gathered near Fayetteville State University to march. Things definitely took a turn when Fayetteville PD tased and detained a protester and refused to release him until protestors backed up. I got there after that point, but he was still in their custody by the time I had arrived.
As I was walking into the protest, my group and I were stopped by a cop who was trying to deter us from participating. He gave us thing long schpiel about how we needed to alert one of them immediately if we saw anything illegal and leave. Once we made it past that gatekeeper, we were amongst a pretty decent sized crowd. At the far end of the crowd, there was a huge formation of cops fully equipped with riot gear blocking off the end of the street trying to make sure the protest couldn't move any further. They stayed in formation like that until 7:55pm, which was 5 minutes before curfew started, and at that point they took a knee in order to get their media coverage that they were on our side. What the local news didn't cover is that the cops were refusing to shake people's hands after taking that knee and told protestors to leave before it gets ugly. What wasn't covered is that police were posting videos of their weapons and zip ties on their snapchat stories with the caption "come get some" (shown below). The crowd from this protest quickly dispersed once 8 o'clock hit after being threatened with arrest amongst other things.

snapchat screen recording shared with me on twitter

my photos from downtown Fayetteville (May 30, 2020)

Upon leaving the initial protest, we decided to go downtown to see if anyone had decided to keep it going down there. When we arrived, we found the entire area barricaded and multiple groups of police dressed in full riot gear guarding the area. It was like they had shut down the center of downtown, blocking every entrance, and protecting the Market House. Just two days before, this area was filled with people who came together to protest and fight for Black lives, and just like that they banned anyone from entering the area until further notice. While at this point, Fayetteville police had not been outwardly brutal towards any protestors, multiple measures had been taken to coerce everyone into silence and keep them from gathering to protest. I think a lot of people mistook the police taking a knee as them standing with us, when in reality, it was a tactic to manipulate protestors into backing down and painting a peaceful picture to the media when they were clearly holding a protestor hostage and verbal accosting others.

I am extremely grateful that I was not in imminent danger while I was out protesting, but many of the people I know, and many of the people throughout the rest of the country had their lives threatened by police during protests. What doesn't sit right with me is that we are literally rising up and protesting against police brutality and as a result of Black folks like George Floyd and Breonna Taylor being murdered by police for literally no reason, and cops around the country are responding with more brutality and killing more people. What doesn't sit right with me is that people across the country are more upset about looting and property damage than they are about Black people being gunned down in their own homes or having their windpipes crushed while they are laid out in the street. What doesn't sit right with me is the fact that the police system in this country declared war on our bodies and our lives from the very beginning, yet Black people are expected to respond peacefully by their rules or not respond at all. I don't like that people are trying to put parameters on how we are "allowed' to grieve or "allowed" to seek justice. I don't like that this country was built on the blood, sweat, and tears of black people and the police force is literally a modern version of the slave patrols- yet, Black people are just supposed to let the endless list of Black lives taken by police officers disappear from their memory. 

I don't like that people are trying to tell Black people how to feel or trying to tell Black people how to "handle" this. No one was willing to listen to us or respect us when we tried it the peaceful way, so when we meet violence with violence, I don't understand why so many people are much more upset about that than the acts of violence and murder committed by the police on a never ending basis. The police system is corrupt, and the people who blindly stand in allegiance with, support, and defend them expose themselves as complicit every time they try to invalidate Black voices and perspectives. 
On a positive note, I have seen the Black community band together like I have never seen in my time before. We have been standing up and showing out to make sure that our voices are being heard. We have been dominating social media and using it as our own news outlet to get the word out about what is happening at protests, as well as share vital information like petitions, bail funds, and legal help. We are controlling the narrative, demanding to be seen and heard. We are calling people out and holding them accountable for their racist and microaggressive actions. We are taking control of how this all plays out, and we aren't backing down until we see real results, REAL change.The cops and the government don't want to meet us in the middle and give us the rights we deserve, the right to live, so we are going to take it. 

I will never stop fighting for Black lives, and I know that this is only the beginning. For as long as I need to, I will be posting on all of my social media platforms about the protests around the country. I will be sharing every petition, every bail fund, and every other helpful resource I come across for Black folks out here protesting or otherwise. I stand with and for the entire Black community as we fight for our rights and fight for our lives. As for the lives taken way too soon, I think it's only right that I say their names:

George Floyd. Breonna Taylor. David McAtee. Kendra James. James Perez. Quanice Hayes. Trayvon Martin. Ahmaud Arbrey. Mike Brown. Tamir Rice. Eric Garner. Freddie Gray. Sandra Bland. Philando Castile. Alton Sterling. Walter Scott. Deonte Keller. Sean Reed. Tony McDade. Oscar Grant. Sean Bell. Terence Crutcher. Samuel DuBose. Jamar Clark. Akai Gurley. Ezell Ford. Dontre Hamilton. Jerame Reid. Antonio Martin. Jeremy McDole. William Chapman II. Anthony Hill. Meagan Hockaday. Tony Robinson. John Crawford III. Eric Harris. Keith Childress Jr. Bettie Jones. Kevin Matthews. Michael Noel. Leroy Browning. Miguel Espinal. Nathaniel Pickett. Keith McLeod. Felix Kumi. Christian Taylor. Darrius Stewart. Jonathan Sanders. Brendon Glenn. Brandon Jones. Stephon Clark. Terrance Franklin. Miles Hall. WIlliam Green. Samuel David Mallard. Botham Jean. E.J. Bradford. Ariane McCree. Darius Tarver. Kwame Jones. De'von Bailey. Christopher Whitfield. Eric Logan. Jamarion Robinson. Gregory Hill Jr. JaQuavion Slaton. Ryan Twyman. Brandon Webber. Jimmy Atchison. Willie McCoy. D'ettrick Griffin. Jemel Roberson. DeAndre Ballard. Robert White. Anthony Lamar Smith. Ramarley Graham. Manuel Loggins Jr. Wendell Allen. Kendrec McDade. Larry Eugene Jackson. Jonathan Ferrell. Jordan Baker. Victor White. Dante Parker. Kajieme Powell. Laquan McDonald. Rumain Brisbon. Mario Woods. Quintonio LeGrier. Gregory Gunn. Akiel Denkins. Terrence Sterling. Keith Scott. Alfred Olango. Jordan Edwards. Danny Ray Thomas. DeJuan Guillroy. Patrick Harmon. Jonathan Hart. Maurice Granton. Julius Johnson. Jamee Johnson. Michael Dean. Atatiana Jefferson.
And so many more whose names we don't know.

It's time to put an end to the war the police and every other corrupt system in this country waged on Black lives. Let's keep up the momentum, and keep each and every one of their memories alive. Say their names.


Written by Aaliyah Mathews
Published June 3, 2020


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