The College Story So Far
When we're kids, college is painted to us like the Disneyland of all things grown-up. It's what all thirteen of those long years of grade school are all about, and it's supposed to be the most fun we'll ever have- the best time of our lives, as everyone likes to say.
During all of that dorm room fiasco, I was also dealing with depression and anxiety pretty badly. I think it was a mix of the high stress environment, taking on a completely new lifestyle, and maintaining a job on top of it all. I was sick all the time and just really struggled to keep my spirits up or stay motivated. Around October, I was at a point where I stopped going to majority of my classes and would just lie in bed all day if I didn't have to work, and I was going back to Fayetteville every weekend. I kind of just felt like I was spiraling and I had no place here. I heavily considered just finishing the semester and moving back home. I did finish the semester, and luckily I was able to come out of it with nothing lower than a B- in a class, but I really just felt lost. I went home for the break and kind of just fell apart.
Something told me that maybe if I got out of my room more and connected with people outside of class or work that it would keep me from slipping into feeling isolated like I had the previous semester, so I made the wild decision to go through sorority recruitment. This was honestly so out of my comfort zone and my norm, but I'm happy that I pushed myself to do it. During that short recruitment week, I fell in love with Alpha Chi Omega, became a member, and in the blink of an eye was surrounded by women who I thought would all be such great people to be around and build friendships with. I quickly became more active in my campus community, had endless dinner plans, and spent way less time alone in my room. It felt great to be a part of something bigger than myself and to be surrounded by people who seemed to care about the same things I did.
My second semester went exponentially more smoothly than my first. I was still struggling with my depression and anxiety, but I was no longer a serial class skipper and I wasn't alone all of the time. My grades were amazing, work was going great, and I actually had time to have fun if I wanted. I felt like I had finally gotten my footing and truly adjusted to college life, and then just like that, the semester came to an end.
For starters, I dropped my sorority about a month ago, meaning that I am no longer a member. I'm going to be real here and say that it was honestly one of the best decisions I've ever made. When I first joined last semester, I think I was just in a haze. Like maybe I was on a bubblegum princess high because everyone was being so nice and everything seemed so good, but that changed very quickly for me, like almost overnight. I realized that I didn't really feel like I had a place or a voice in the chapter. I realized that the things I believed in and stood my ground for were not things that were necessarily respected or acknowledged by a majority of the chapter, and just decided it was best if I resigned from my membership. I am still friends with a few of the girls I became close with, but as a whole, my bond with the girls who were my sisters has been frayed. I'm going to leave it at that, and that's completely ok. I was upset at first, and then I had to remind myself that it is ok to outgrow things and it is ok to separate yourself from things and people that are on a different page than you. I also really want to mention that Greek life isn't everyone's cup of tea, and that is where a lot of my feelings of that disconnect came from. Again, that is completely ok.
The biggest, most important change of this semester, however, is that I've decided to fast-track myself to graduate a year to a year and a half early. I've come to the conclusion that the only way for me to get through undergrad without being perpetually annoyed or shaving my head is to just power through my courses and get it over with. I wouldn't necessarily recommend that anyone do that, because it's all about what you can handle and what time frame you give yourself to graduate. I think taking your time and stopping to smell the roses or whatever is a great thing, but I'm ready to get out of here so I can move on to the next step. That next step will hopefully be graduate school at Fayetteville State University to get my master's in social work. I'm just ready to face my goals head on and keep the ball rolling.
- Alli
My college experience so far, as I'm sure is the same for a lot of other people, has been something a tad bit different. I've honestly been dying to talk about it, but just could never quite figure out how or where to start. Now that I've got my feet under me a little bit better, it's time to share the details.I think it's important to start this off by mentioning that I am twenty-two years old, and I am nearing the end of my first semester of my second year in college. Majority of the people I graduated high school with in 2015 just walked across that "I can finally say I'm done with undergrad" stage last May. Like I mentioned in Something Like an Intro, I took a three-year break after I graduated high school, and that was for a few reasons. The first reason is that I just simply couldn't afford college on my own, and didn't have a support system in place to help me navigate how to get financial aid and scholarships figured out. I think it was a combination of the fact that I would be a first generation college student and just a general disinterest in me going to college or taking that next step for myself- either way, my family was completely uninvolved in the process. In the Fall of 2015, I was supposed to attend Old Dominion University in Virginia, but that financial security piece is ultimately what held me back. After that, I was honestly just discouraged from even trying to attend college, and that is the second reason why it took me so long to get the ball rolling.
What people don't really tell us when we're younger is that going to college costs more money than we can really wrap our heads around. It is more stressful than some people may be able to handle without help, and it is quite frankly a little bit scary.I want to spare you guys all of the drab details of what went on during that three-year span between Fall of 2015 and Fall of 2018, because it's really just the story of a kid who works a bunch of terrible jobs and bounces around between living situations before finally getting tired of it and deciding to try again. That's honestly the shortest summary of events I could put together. However, I would be remiss if I didn't mention how much my boyfriend's mom helped me when it came to figuring everything out. She talked to me about her experience being a first generation college student and doing it all on her own. She talked to me about figuring out financial aid, and helped me through the entire process until my place here at University of North Carolina Greensboro was secured and solidified. She pushed me to make sure that I got to where I needed to be, and I will forever be grateful for that.
I do this thing where I actually can't tell a story without telling the backstory first. Ask anyone who has had to physically listen to me tell a story- I'm working on it, ok. Now it's time for what you actually probably came here for.
Last Fall, I started my undergraduate journey here at UNCG. I came in super excited, but also nervous just in general being that I was a twenty-one year old freshman, and I'm not necessarily the most outgoing or extroverted person. Nevertheless, I was ready to take on whatever college had in store for me. I started out that semester as an English major with a concentration in high school education, but it only took about a month for me to realize that I was out of my depth and quite possibly out of my mind with that one. I was in a class called Families and Close Relationships, and one day it was literally like one of those moments where the lightbulb pops up and illuminates over your head. I knew that I needed to change my major, and from that point I had my eyes set on Human Development and Family Studies. See, I came in not really thinking that it was possible for me to get a degree in anything that I was actually passionate about, so I chose English because it was just what came easily to me. Finding Human Development and Family Studies was such a blessing for me because I couldn't have picked a more perfect major or career path.
Don't be fooled, though. My first semester was rough, to say the absolute least.I feel like it's probably the general consensus that having a bad roommate is most people's college nightmare. That was one of mine for sure, and of course it came true. My roommate wasn't necessarily mean or anything, she was just really inconsiderate and kind of petty. Even after sitting through writing out a roommate agreement, which was mandated by our RA staff, she still just acted like our room was her space and her space only. Things didn't start out bad, though. The first week on campus, we only knew each other so we hung out a lot. As the weeks went by, I started to branch out. By branch out, I mean I knew my way around campus so I started to do things by myself majority of the time (like I preferred to) or with the few people I had met. For some reason, this infuriated her and I really didn't understand why. Everything kind of went downhill from there. She blocked me on social media and started ranting about me, slammed every single door she could or turned all of the lights on when she knew I was sleeping, let random people have the key to our room, had multiple people over till two or three in the morning on week nights- the list honestly goes on way past all of this. I did my best to communicate and reason with her, but it was like she was committed to making my life hell so I gave up.
During all of that dorm room fiasco, I was also dealing with depression and anxiety pretty badly. I think it was a mix of the high stress environment, taking on a completely new lifestyle, and maintaining a job on top of it all. I was sick all the time and just really struggled to keep my spirits up or stay motivated. Around October, I was at a point where I stopped going to majority of my classes and would just lie in bed all day if I didn't have to work, and I was going back to Fayetteville every weekend. I kind of just felt like I was spiraling and I had no place here. I heavily considered just finishing the semester and moving back home. I did finish the semester, and luckily I was able to come out of it with nothing lower than a B- in a class, but I really just felt lost. I went home for the break and kind of just fell apart.
I came back for second semester, not really feeling any better at first, but determined to get through the year and keep going. I felt like I owed it to myself to keep trying.My roommate had moved out and into another room in the building, and I was never assigned a new roommate. Having my own space honestly made things so much better. It took the most stressful factor out of the equation, and refocused me in a way. I went into this new season ready to do what I had to do, and feeling optimistic that things would go better this time.
Something told me that maybe if I got out of my room more and connected with people outside of class or work that it would keep me from slipping into feeling isolated like I had the previous semester, so I made the wild decision to go through sorority recruitment. This was honestly so out of my comfort zone and my norm, but I'm happy that I pushed myself to do it. During that short recruitment week, I fell in love with Alpha Chi Omega, became a member, and in the blink of an eye was surrounded by women who I thought would all be such great people to be around and build friendships with. I quickly became more active in my campus community, had endless dinner plans, and spent way less time alone in my room. It felt great to be a part of something bigger than myself and to be surrounded by people who seemed to care about the same things I did.
My second semester went exponentially more smoothly than my first. I was still struggling with my depression and anxiety, but I was no longer a serial class skipper and I wasn't alone all of the time. My grades were amazing, work was going great, and I actually had time to have fun if I wanted. I felt like I had finally gotten my footing and truly adjusted to college life, and then just like that, the semester came to an end.
I want to fast forward through this past summer because it doesn't really have anything to do with my college experience, but mainly because that is a story for another time (don't worry).I am currently in my second year at UNCG, as I mentioned earlier. Some things have changed, and they were kind of abrupt changes honestly.
For starters, I dropped my sorority about a month ago, meaning that I am no longer a member. I'm going to be real here and say that it was honestly one of the best decisions I've ever made. When I first joined last semester, I think I was just in a haze. Like maybe I was on a bubblegum princess high because everyone was being so nice and everything seemed so good, but that changed very quickly for me, like almost overnight. I realized that I didn't really feel like I had a place or a voice in the chapter. I realized that the things I believed in and stood my ground for were not things that were necessarily respected or acknowledged by a majority of the chapter, and just decided it was best if I resigned from my membership. I am still friends with a few of the girls I became close with, but as a whole, my bond with the girls who were my sisters has been frayed. I'm going to leave it at that, and that's completely ok. I was upset at first, and then I had to remind myself that it is ok to outgrow things and it is ok to separate yourself from things and people that are on a different page than you. I also really want to mention that Greek life isn't everyone's cup of tea, and that is where a lot of my feelings of that disconnect came from. Again, that is completely ok.
The biggest, most important change of this semester, however, is that I've decided to fast-track myself to graduate a year to a year and a half early. I've come to the conclusion that the only way for me to get through undergrad without being perpetually annoyed or shaving my head is to just power through my courses and get it over with. I wouldn't necessarily recommend that anyone do that, because it's all about what you can handle and what time frame you give yourself to graduate. I think taking your time and stopping to smell the roses or whatever is a great thing, but I'm ready to get out of here so I can move on to the next step. That next step will hopefully be graduate school at Fayetteville State University to get my master's in social work. I'm just ready to face my goals head on and keep the ball rolling.
To kind of wrap all of this up, I would just like to say that college students are done such a disservice when people don't keep it real with them about the potential struggles they will face along the way. It is important to be honest about how it can be hard to adjust to living on campus, how you might feel lost or out of place for a while, and how important it is to prioritize your overall health and well-being over anything else on your plate. These things are important, and it's a vital conversation that needs to be had before and even throughout college.This semester is almost over and I have had a much more positive experience than I did last year, for sure. While my experience overall hasn't been the most positive or exciting so far, I have learned and grown so much in the past year. I'm not tolerating any nonsense, and I'm focused on these grades, my writing, and my money that keeps disappearing and paying bills without my consent. I want to make sure I write an updated post for you guys this time next year, but for now I will leave you with this.
- Alli
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